Importance of communication skills begins when we are young.

In the the eyes of a grown up the importance of communication skills for children is not so significant. Their reaction when they do not read each other successfully may be strong but their actions are usually not so harmful. It could be to throw something; speak out feelings with pictures (you silly cow!); stick out the tongue and so forth.

Hmm... Come to think of it... Isn't this what some adults do too when in a fight with someone?

When we as adults see children's arguments we often react to their behaviour by talking to them saying things like: "That's not very nice." or "Don't say things like that, it makes her sad." Every responsible adult then takes a moment to talk about what could have brought about the fight and how the children could have avoided it.

This kind of reaction and support continues throughout childhood into the teenage years. And although the opportunities to have a still conversation are becoming rare at that time adults do as best they can.

The importance of communication skills as parents.

When we talk to children about how to communicate to be understood and how to read others we pass forward the knowledge we have learned from our own parents and teachers in similar situations. If we didn't take any extra courses we are probably not experts on communication. And so neither will our children be, until they decide to change that.

Most people have a longing to improve themselves, to learn more and to be more fulfilled. And if there is something in your life that you wish could be otherwise, chances are they will improve if you learn how to communicate better.

This is a theme to pass on to a child: "If you want things to be different, improve your communication skills." Just remember, not many children do as we say; they do what we do. If we improve our skills they will do the same.

Which way to take.

Once you really understand the importance of communication skills your interest to improve will show you the way to take. You will be better aware of how you deliver your messages and how you recieve messages from others.
  • When you've learnt that not showing your hands can give the other person a sense of you not being alltogether honest, you will avoid having them in your pockets or under the table when speaking to someone who don't know you so well.
  • You won't stare down on the floor when asking for a raise in salary or when you talk to your teenager about when to come home at night.
  • You will want to be open to hear your wife's argument with both mind and heart before giving your suggestions and then do your best to find that which you both agree to.

    Like with everything else in life we must take full responsibility for all our actions, but there's a "but" here; When recieving a message from someone we are also responsible for being first and formost a fellow human being, compassionate enough to want to understand the person behind the message.

    Here's an example: A woman is about to get off a bus with her baby carriage through one of the back doors and collides with a man heading for the front door with the intention to get on the bus. He furiously shouts at her with a choice of words not suitable for this pleasant website. A sensitive person like a mother to a newly born could easily have her day ruined after such an incident. However, this mother does not. She assumes that all his words and negative emotions that was thrown at her was indeed not meant for her. They were only an expression for how he experienced his life at that very moment. Her immediate reaction could be that of self defence ("Look out yourself, you...!") but would soon turn into feelings of compassion and a wish that his life soon would harmonize with him again.

    As he may no have remembered the importance of communication skills needed in this particular situation, her willingness to interpret him with compassion prevented a possible harmful argument.

    This choice of interpretation is not everybody's first, simply because many people are scared to end up feeling used, laughed at, cheated etc. When your mind tells you "THIS COULD BE HURTFUL; I AM SCARED" you feel stress. There was possibly a situation earlier in your life where you suffered and felt you were not good enough or smart enough or alike. That is probably what the man in the above story experienced. Such stress can be dealt with, and you won't have to choose to fight or flight, instead just respecting the importance of communication skills from both the sender and the reciever, and do everything right on your side.

    The importance of communication skills as a way to world peace.

    The majority of the people of the world have a need to be seen and heard. To be acknowledged for a job well done or an unselfish deed. The need to feel appreciated is greater than many other needs and sometimes places people in intricate situations. The need is in a way similar to an addiction. The need to achieve appreciation may bring on a physical action or verbal language the person normally wouldn't use had he not had the need.

    To contribute to world peace, at least on a local level, could be to become more generous towards others. If you communicate every time you can say something nice to another person, even though you "are sure" he would never do the same for you, not only will you make him feel better you will guaranteed feel better yourself too.

    And remember, that whatever you give to others will eventually come back to you. Not so often from the same person, but from a completely unexpected other. Kindness generate kindness, and we are all winners.

    Here are some examples to inspire you:

    • I really appreciate how you handled the issue with the new department at the meeting this morning. I could see how well prepared you are.
    • I'm so glad you are my friend, I feel I can talk to you about anything.
    • That's a very impressive vehicle! Is it new?
    • We are going hiking and I remembered you are an experienced hiker so I thought you could give me a tip on which equipment to choose.
    • You look like you need a rest. Is there anything I can do for you?

      The importance of communication skills to improve stress management is a broad subject. More information will be added to this page now and then.

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